On this day twenty years ago, I had major surgery to remove an invasive cancer. The incisions were quite painful, I was fitful and restless. For the first time in my life, I was overcome with pain and grief and fear of the future. I wept and called out to God, “I surrender.”
Surrendering was not really what I would call a choice– it was more of a survival instinct, a deep realization that the only way I was going to be able to get through this ordeal was to surrender and rely on the strength of God.
The façade of self-sufficiency that ordinarily propped me up and propelled me through each day was stripped away. Those weeks of relying on others for even my most basic human needs were uncomfortably humbling. I had to release my pride in being known as a Cheerful Giver, and learn to receive care and comfort. That moment of surrender twenty years ago has changed my relationship with God. But I trust in you, Lord; I say, “You are my God.”
Let us pray. Gracious Loving God, please help me to trust in your unending love and care. Let your face shine upon me. Save me in your unfailing love. Thank you. Amen.